Finding Balance or Throwing it Out Entirely

Life is a constant juggle between competing ideologies, especially for those of us who are deeply passionate about various subjects. I often find myself torn between conflicting schools of thought, each championing their own way of living as the ultimate path to fulfillment. For example, as someone who dives deep into the nuances of nutrition, I’ve explored everything from Dr. Joel Fuhrman’s whole foods, plant-based Nutritarian diet to high-protein and meat-centric regimens promoted by fitness enthusiasts. My current approach is a blend of whole foods, high plant-based intake, moderate protein, and regenerative meat, yet it still feels like I’m not hitting the mark perfectly. But today, my mind is occupied with a broader and more pressing issue: the quest for balance versus the pursuit of singular passion.

Many advocate for spending more time with family, suggesting that this is the key to true happiness. They warn against dedicating one’s life solely to the pursuit of wealth, only to realize too late that it was a fruitless endeavor. Conversely, figures like David Goggins and Cameron Hanes promote an all-in mentality, urging us to pour every ounce of our energy into perfecting a craft, arguing that this pursuit is the only path to a meaningful life. Both perspectives resonate with me, yet they seem irreconcilable. On one hand, there’s the call to find joy in life’s simple moments with loved ones. On the other, there’s the drive to achieve greatness through relentless dedication to a single pursuit.

The common thread in both ideologies is the search for external meaning. Whether it’s through family or personal achievement, the aim is to find something that gives our lives purpose. At times, I entertain the idea of blending the two approaches. I could dedicate myself to something I find deeply meaningful, but who would take care of my children in the meantime? Perhaps my children themselves are my life’s work. The thought of homeschooling appeals to me—teaching them hard work, grit, and resilience. Yet, I’m not entirely convinced this would fulfill me completely.

I work as a financial planner, a job I love, but the more I immerse myself in it, the more I feel I’m taking time away from my children. Similarly, my interests in nutrition, fitness, and cooking are driven by a desire to stay healthy for my active lifestyle and my family, not as standalone passions. So, where do I go from here? What should I do? For now, I take it one day at a time. I believe the key lies in being fully present in each moment. When I work, I’m wholly focused on my tasks. When I’m with my kids, they have my undivided attention.

I’ve simplified my nutrition by sticking to the same meals until dinner. My workouts follow a consistent weekly routine and I have been adding to it now that my kids are out of school for the summer. I’m also exploring mobility exercises, starting with “Body by Breath” by Jill Miller. Despite this, my to-do list remains long. Is this balance, or a lack of focus and meaning?

Many of my friends work long hours in jobs they dislike, justifying the sacrifice with the financial rewards. I know this isn’t the answer. They will likely regret missing their children’s childhoods. I work part-time from home, a privilege I cherish, but it comes with its own set of doubts. Is the pursuit of meaningful work the missing piece for those working long hours? Can kids be the sole source of meaning in life?

When my first child was a baby, I worked full-time, and he went to daycare. I didn’t mind being away because I am not cut out for dealing with constant crying 24-7. Losing that same job after my second child was born was a horrible feeling of loss, despite my distane for the mundane work. I’m in a better place with more time for my kids and a job I find meaningful, but the paycut sucks and has affected my confidence in myself. There still a nagging feeling that something is missing. What is that thing? I don’t have that answer, but here is what I know for sure:

Having my kids home feels right 100% of the time. Since ending daycare and starting part-time preschool, the time I have with my kids has been incredible. It’s challenging, but never not worth it.
My work aligns with my passions. I love helping people with their finances. However, I struggle to make time for studying for my certification because I don’t feel that it is a priority and I need to reassess my purpose there.
Financial constraints are a challenge. I don’t feel deprived, but I know I’m underpaid for my worth and the value I add to my current company. This will need to be addressed aftermy kids need me less. Homeschooling is still a consideration too so I don’t have a timeline with this.
Health and fitness are important to me. My workouts and nutrition are good, and I’m in decent physical shape, but not at my peak. This is an area I want to improve upon.

Finding real purpose in life is a complex and ongoing journey. I don’t have any of it figured out and I don’t pretend to. I think much of my issues stem from my perfectionist tendencies, but I think I am closer to true meaning than I have ever been before.

Embracing Summer Break: Ideas for Staying Sane with Young Kids at Home

We’re three days into my boys’ summer break from preschool, and so far, it’s been delightful. Ask me again in 14 weeks, and I might be pulling my hair out, but for now, the slow mornings and long walks are a welcome change. Here are some strategies I’m using to help us maintain our sanity throughout the summer:

Maintaining Our Morning Routine
We follow the same morning routine as during the school year. I let the boys sleep in if they’re tired, and our bedtime has shifted slightly later. However, once they wake up, we go through the same motions at a more relaxed pace. They get up, get dressed, comb their hair, brush their teeth, and then we head downstairs for breakfast. Afterward, instead of rushing to school, they enjoy a little TV time while I tackle the most demanding part of my workday.

Extended Morning Walks
I usually take a 10-minute walk every morning before work, but with no need to spend 30 minutes in the car, we now extend our walk time. We head out after I complete some hard work tasks and it is a great change of pace. These walks are a great opportunity for us to chat and enjoy the morning sun together.

Daily Outings
Every day, we make sure to get out of the house, even if it’s just a quick trip to the store. It’s important for all of us to see different faces and get a change of scenery.

Scheduled Playdates
I’ve set up playdates with other kids from school. This not only helps the boys stay connected with their friends but also gives them a chance to burn off some energy.

Lots of Outside Time
Our backyard is fenced, so I’m comfortable letting my almost 3 and almost 5-year-old play outside on their own. This gives me a chance to do some light work in the afternoon while they enjoy the playset, sandbox, garden, and even the recent puddles from the rain. They often continue playing while I make dinner. I wonder if they’ll eventually tire of the backyard, but for now, they are content for long periods.

I cherish this time together and hope that we continue to enjoy the next 13.5 weeks as much as we’ve enjoyed the first three days. This summer, I’m embracing the slower pace and finding joy in the simple moments. Whether it’s sticking to our morning routine, extending our walks, or making sure we get out of the house, these small strategies are helping us make the most of our summer break.

My Health Journey

Understanding how I maintain my physical health is deeply rooted in my entire wellness journey and a good place to start if you want to understand why I do what I do today. It’s difficult to explain the daily choices I make without diving into the origins of these habits. The core idea here is that personalization is key. One must adapt practices that suit one’s unique needs and not merely mimic others. My path to wellness has been gradual, involving incremental changes over many years.

My journey began at age 20. In high school and early college, I maintained a slim physique with little effort towards diet or exercise, except for a brief stint in track during my junior year. The summer after my freshman year was transformative; I biked daily to class and work, developing strong, muscular legs. However, as my circumstances changed—moving back to campus and commuting by car—I noticed a decline in my fitness.

At 20, motivated by my less toned appearance, I made subtle changes like eliminating cheese from my sandwiches and cooking more instead of eating out. I also started practicing yoga weekly, joining an class at a local church filled with older women. This was before yoga was popular so it was really all I could find, but I had been interested in yoga since I was a dorky 12 year old.

By 21, inspired by a “Runner’s World” book I borrowed from my mom, I began running by following the exact plan the book laid out. This new hobby eventually led me to compete in numerous half marathons and even a tough mudder race. Concurrently, I developed an interest in weightlifting, though my routine fluctuated with my life’s demands. Post-college, a costly gym membership and personal trainer helped me achieve great physical shape, but it was unsustainable financially, leading me back to sporadic running.

By 27, I had gained 35 pounds since my teens. I reached a point where I felt disgusted with myself and I started P90x and trained for another half marathon. Around this time, a friend’s significant weight loss on Whole30 inspired me to try it, and I successfully shed 15 pounds. Though I regained the weight, the experience proved to me that significant weight loss was possible.

The next year, encouraged by a friend, I entered a figure competition, which involved intense training and dieting. While I gained muscle and lost 25 pounds, the weight returned post-competition. My fitness journey continued in waves, often dictated by race registrations and intermittent hot yoga classes, when I could stomach the price.

Some time after the competition, I read Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman and was hooked on his idea of plant-based, high-nutrient eating for long-term health. I started learning from vegan influencers and eating a lifestyle high in carbohydrates and found that I gained weight instead of losing it. I wasn’t focusing on the nutrient-dense foods Dr. Fuhrman promoted and instead just focused on the foods being animal product free. This was a mistake.

At 32, with plans to have my first child at 34, I revised my lifestyle, losing 10 pounds by skipping breakfast and ending my daily 3PM snacking. I kept the weight off for the next year. I found something sustainable. I still maintained my mostly vegan eating habits and ran 2 half marathons that year. I got pregnant with my son and started Orange Theory at 9 weeks pregnant. I was very active through my entire pregnancy, but gained a significant amount of weight.

Two pregnancies and babies later, my weight was nowhere close to what I wanted and my body looked like someone else’s. I started working out just twice a week 6 months after my second son was born. I did this for a year and a half and saw results just from being consistent. I still had a good amount of weight I wanted to lose, but I started to feel more confident in my body and felt strong again.

I got pregnant again at 37, but found out at 16 weeks that the heartbeat I heard at my 10 week ultrasound belonged to a partial molar fetus (2 sperm, 1 egg) and the heartbeat was gone. Devistated, I commited to daily 30-Day-Fix workouts and focused on whole foods because I needed something else to focus on and for the first time in a few years, I was going to focus on something for myself. I fairly quickly lost all of my baby weight and a little more.

8 months later, I am still working out nearly every day. I know 30-Day-Fix isn’t the most intense thing I could do, but it works for me now. It’s 30 minutes, I can do it at home with my kids, and it never seems too overwhelming to get done. I am continuing to make little changes to improve my health even more and will continue to evolve as I learn more and my needs change. Through bloodwork and different things with my cycle, I’ve discovered what I need to supplement and focus on nutrition-wise. I find it easiest to eat basically the same way each day as creating habits is the cornerstone of my success.

Here’s my current eating routine:

Breakfast: Coffee, cold brew, or a homemade latte | Sundays I eat a hearty breakfast, but other than that, I don’t eat until lunch.

Lunch: A smoothie made with with vegan protein powder, blueberries or cherries, spinach, almond milk, seeds (changes depending on where I am in my cycle), vegan EPA/DHA oil, creatine, and peanut butter.

Afternoon Snack: Roasted chickpeas

Dinner: A balanced plate of meat, vegetables, and a carbohydrate

Supplements tailored to my needs: vegan protein powder, a women’s probiotic, vegan EPA/DHA oil, NMN Complete, Biotin, D3/K2 , and Methylfolate.

My journey has taught me a vital lesson: effective, sustainable fitness is about gradual, personalized enhancements. Slowly build habits that work in your life and that you can stick to. Don’t try to do everything all at once or you will get overwhelmed and hate your life. And lastly, change your mindset to think like someone who is where you want to be. Ask youself what that person would do and do that. If you don’t know, find out. There are a ton of books available to learn about nutrition, fitness, and weightloss journeys.