Life Is Too Short to Stay Where You Aren’t Loved

For the past three years, I worked for a severe narcissist. Initially, I took the job because we needed the money, and it was in a field I was dying to work in. From the moment I met the two owners, I knew one of them was a narcissist. I ignored that red flag because I thought I’d mostly be working with the other owner. Their arrangement seemed perfect: one owner handled financial planning behind the scenes while the other brought in clients. It worked—until it didn’t.

When the owners split, I stayed with the narcissist because the other advisor was pushing people into products that didn’t seem right for them. With the narcissist, I had the freedom to create plans and had tons of autonomy because, frankly, he didn’t know how to do much of the work himself.

At first, it felt like we were all in it together: the admin, the junior advisor, the narcissist, and me. We were a team against the other owner who had left. But that unity didn’t last. One by one, the narcissist started trying to turn the whole team against one person (a new person each time). Even during the busiest times, he was often on vacation—sometimes two trips a month. It became an issue. I finally told him I thought he needed to be around more, and he completely lost it. He exaggerated everything, telling the team I said he didn’t do his job. That was the turning point when we all lost respect for him and where the other two finally realized he was a narcissist.

After that, I avoided talking to him unless absolutely necessary and focused on my work. I loved my job and didn’t want to lose it (I worked from home so it was really easy not to talk to each other). Meanwhile, my husband hit a milestone at work, earning the “magic number” I always thought would mean I could quit my job if I needed to.

The last few months were amazing. I was working in a job I didn’t financially need but genuinely enjoyed. That felt like a dream—or at least my dream. But then, 2.5 weeks ago, everything shifted.

The owner asked me to take on a project that was technically his responsibility, but I agreed. Neither of us knew how to handle it, but I tackled it anyway. He doesn’t like to be bothered with anything and expects everything to magically happen without his involvement until he steps in to meet with clients. I was doing tasks that no advisor should ever delegate to support staff. Then, during a phone call, he accused me of being frustrated with him—which I wasn’t. By the end of the call, he admitted that he was frustrated with me for asking him a question that he swore he already told me the answer to. I told him I needed to talk to my husband to decide if this job was still the right fit. The next morning, I quit.

Now I’m a stay-at-home mom. I’ve been helping a friend who is an advisor, unpaid, just to stay connected to the industry I love.

Where I Am Now
I’m scared. I’m loving it. I’m bored to tears. I’m rediscovering other passions—all at the same time.

I feel a little lonely without much work while my kids are at school. I’m still pursuing my CFP certification because I want the option to go back to work once my kids are in school full-time. My house has never been so clean (despite two little dudes running around). My dinners are more creative, and we’re baking for the holidays and actually doing all of those crafts my kids have been wanting to do. That part is wonderful.

But I’m scared too. What if I want to go back to work and I’ve been out of the industry too long? What if we need my extra income next year? Should I have stayed, swallowing my pride and ignoring his rude comments? After all, I loved the actual work.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll never know. I don’t believe in fate, but I do think I’ve become wise enough to know when to walk away. I believe I have a skill for weighing risk versus reward. The reward of staying in a soul-crushing job with a narcissist no longer outweighed the emotional toll it took.

Now, I’m more present with my kids, and they’re growing so fast.

What’s Next?
Everything will be okay in the end. But I know my feelings will ebb and flow until this new normal settles in. Right now, it feels both strange and wonderful. It’s frightening, yet freeing. And I’m learning to embrace all of it.

To Have a Third Baby or Not?

Ever since my husband and I seriously started talking about having children, the plan has always been to have two, with the possibility of a third if the first two were the same gender. He really wanted a boy, and I had always hoped for a girl. Now that we have two boys, I find that I don’t have a strong desire for a girl anymore—boys are so much fun! However, I sometimes wonder if I might miss out on a unique and important relationship by not having a daughter. I talk to my mom frequently, whereas my brother rarely talks to her. Many women describe their mothers as their best friends, a bond that’s not often echoed by sons, even by so-called momma’s boys.

Lately, I’ve felt like there’s a missing piece in my life, and I’ve been yearning for another baby. Here are some of my thoughts, both for and against the idea, which might help me sort out this ongoing debate in my mind.

Against: Middle Child Syndrome

My younger son, who is still very much my baby at three, would probably feel devastated if a new baby came along. He loves to be carried, snuggled, and have things done for him, enjoying being the center of attention. My oldest is comfortable in his big brother role and enjoys helping out. Introducing a third child might turn my middle one into the stereotypical “middle child,” feeling left out and struggling to find his place.

Against: Disrupting the Sibling Bond

My two boys have an incredible bond, partly because they only have each other. When they fight, they’re forced to make up quickly because they would rather play together than stay mad. A third child might change that dynamic, giving them the option to exclude each other rather than work through conflicts.

Pro: A Chance to Do Things Differently

I’m in a unique position to keep a baby home with me all day, meaning no pumping would be necessary, and I could nurse full-time. This is something I’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t manage with my older boys. It feels like a second chance to do things the way I’ve always desired.

Pro: Feeling Capable

Many mothers I know seem overwhelmed all the time. While I recognize that parenting has its challenges, I don’t feel that way. I feel like I’ve got a handle on things, and I don’t find parenting as difficult as others might describe. Adding another child doesn’t feel as daunting when you’re confident in your ability to manage.

Against: Fear of Overwhelm

Despite feeling capable, there’s a real concern that adding a baby to the mix could push me over the edge. Right now, life with a 3-year-old and a 6-year-old is manageable, even enjoyable. But a newborn means sleepless nights and more demands, which could lead to me feeling grumpy and overwhelmed. I remember disliking the baby phase and feeling immense relief when each of my boys turned two.

Pro: My Oldest Would Shine as a Big Brother

My oldest is already a fantastic big brother, and I have no doubt he would excel in that role again. Sometimes, I think I’d have eight kids if I only considered how wonderful he is at helping and loving his younger brother.

Pro: More Love, More Family

The idea of having a larger family appeals to me. I love the idea of more people to share life with, more love and warmth around the dinner table during holidays, and more family to support each other as we age.

Against: Vision of the Future

I often hear people suggest imagining your future holiday dinners when deciding on family size. This image changes for me. With a third child, I imagine cozy family dinners at home, surrounded by kids, their spouses, and grandkids. But with just two, I see us being able to take more adventurous family vacations, like a week of skiing together over the holidays. It’s a different kind of joy, but one I value nonetheless.

Against: Starting Over

We’re past the hardest years of parenting, and things are becoming easier. Do I really want to start over with the sleepless nights, diaper changes, and the intense demands of a newborn?

Against: My Health and Fitness

At 39, I’ve made significant progress in my fitness and health, and I love the way I look and feel. I’m in better shape now than before I had kids, and the idea of a new pregnancy and postpartum body changes is scary. I’m not sure I want to risk the progress I’ve made.

Conclusion: Choosing to Stay With Two

After weighing all the pros and cons, I’ve decided to stick with two children. While the idea of a third child is tempting and the thought of more love and connection is appealing, the reality of our current life feels balanced and fulfilling. Our boys have a strong bond, and introducing a third might disrupt that closeness. I also cherish the freedom and ease we’re beginning to enjoy as a family, as well as the personal progress I’ve made with my health and fitness.

Life with two children allows us to embrace both the joys of family time and the possibility of adventurous experiences as the kids grow older. It provides a balance that feels right for us now. The yearning for another baby is more about the sentiment of what could be rather than a true desire to change our family dynamic. We are happy as we are, and I am confident in the love and joy our two boys bring to our lives.

Summer Activities for Stay at Home Kids – What is worth the price and hassle?

This summer marks the first time I have both of my littles (almost 3 and almost 5) home with me all summer. I was worried we wouldn’t have enough to do, so I followed the lead of many stay-at-home moms from their school and signed them up for summer camps, pool passes, and memberships. However, I’m not exactly a full-time stay-at-home mom. While I do stay home, I also work 1 to 3 hours a day.

Many stay-at-home moms seem to believe their kids need to be busy every day, but I’ve found that this often stems from their own need for mental engagement. Here’s what I’ve learned about kids’ activities this summer:

Swim Lessons vs. Pool Passes
Swim lessons haven’t been useful for my two sons, both of whom are afraid of water. On the other hand, pool passes have been more beneficial. The time spent at the pool is making them more comfortable with water. Once they overcome their fear, swim lessons might become more effective.

Memberships: Hit and Miss
Zoo Membership: Our local zoo is tiny and takes about an hour to get through. Honestly, we have more fun at the local park.
Living History Farms: Unless there’s an event, it’s not worth visiting.
Science Center: This membership is fantastic. My kids love exploring the different sections and never seem to tire of it. It’s perfect for cold, rainy, or hot days year-round.

Summer Camps
The one camp we tried was awesome. While camps are expensive, we might do another one next year, possibly a science center camp. However, I don’t see myself doing more than one or two camps per summer at this age. My kids can have fun in the backyard with a sprinkler or at a park.

Here are a few considerations:

Time with Friends: They need social interaction. I’m willing to pay for activities like summer camp if it means they can see their friends.
Time at the Pool: While I find the pool annoying and crowded, I think learning to swim is important. My goal is to get them comfortable through exposure, then we’ll consider lessons again next year.
Down Time: Kids don’t need to be busy all the time. Over-scheduling can be a waste of money and may do more harm than good.

Finding the right balance of activities is crucial. Not every activity needs to be structured or expensive. Sometimes, the simplest activities bring the most joy and benefit to our children. As parents, we need to recognize that downtime is just as important as planned activities, allowing our kids to grow, learn, and enjoy their summer. As long as we can make times with their friends, that is really all they truly need over the summer.

Navigating the Midlife Funk: Finding Excitement in Everyday Life

Have you ever felt like you’re in a daze, wondering where life is heading and struggling to find excitement? As a married parent, this feeling can be particularly perplexing. We hear about midlife crises, but the emotions that come with this stage of life are often left unspoken. It can feel like we’re just watching the world age around us, and it’s hard to know how to break free from this funk.

I wouldn’t say I’m depressed, just underwhelmed by life. Is this it? I work from home and take care of my kids, which is a blessing, but this life can also be a bit monotonous. My husband works long hours and is frequently stressed by the huge demands of his day. I hate seeing him that way. Is this just where we stay until we retire? Literally nothing interesting or exciting happens to us, ever. We do leave the house, but is this how people spend their lives with kids at home?

The Midlife Funk: What’s Going On?
It’s not uncommon to feel this way. Many of us enter a stage where the thrill of new experiences seems to fade, replaced by the routines of daily life. As we age, our responsibilities grow, and the spontaneity of our youth often takes a backseat to obligations and schedules. It’s easy to fall into a pattern where days blur together, leaving us feeling underwhelmed and questioning if this is all there is.

Rediscovering Joy: Small Steps to Big Changes
Embrace New Hobbies: Trying something new can inject excitement into your life. Whether it’s a creative pursuit like painting or writing, a physical activity like hiking or yoga, or even learning a new skill, exploring new interests can reignite a sense of curiosity and joy.

Reconnect with Nature: Spending time outdoors can be incredibly refreshing. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a family hike, or even just sitting in your backyard, nature has a way of calming the mind and providing a new perspective.

Plan Mini Adventures: You don’t need a grand vacation to create memorable experiences. Plan small outings or day trips that break the routine and offer something to look forward to. Discover local attractions, visit a nearby town, or find a new restaurant to try.

Prioritize Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is crucial. Whether it’s through exercise, meditation, reading, or simply taking a few minutes each day to relax, self-care can help rejuvenate your spirit and improve your overall well-being.

Create Family Traditions: Introducing new traditions or reviving old ones can bring joy and a sense of anticipation. Whether it’s a weekly movie night, a monthly game night, or seasonal activities, these moments can create lasting memories and strengthen family bonds.

Navigating Together: Supporting Each Other
It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and communicate them with your partner. Working together to find ways to bring more excitement into your lives can be incredibly supportive. Plan date nights, engage in shared hobbies, or simply take time to talk about your dreams and aspirations.

Looking Forward: Finding Hope in the Everyday
While it’s easy to feel like life is passing by, remember that each day offers opportunities for new experiences and growth. It’s about finding joy in the little things and embracing the present moment.

Life with kids at home doesn’t have to be monotonous. By taking small steps to break the routine, you can find excitement and fulfillment in everyday life. It’s okay to feel underwhelmed at times, but know that you have the power to create a life that feels vibrant and meaningful.

We Got a Dog!

We got a dog! Well, we don’t have her yet, but we bring her home in 1.5 weeks. I’ve been feeling quite bored with life and a bit sad about moving on from the baby stage with my boys. Recently, we visited a farm with puppies, and I found myself yearning for a dog. At first, I tried to push this desire aside, thinking it was an irrational response to my feelings of discontentment.

But my wonderful husband, knowing my desire, got me a dog for my birthday, and I am over the moon. I realized after holding her that I’m not necessarily just sad about moving to a new stage in life; I have a strong desire to be surrounded by more life. I love dogs and children, and I’ve even considered getting chickens, although I think that will come when we eventually live somewhere with more land.

Anyway, we are getting a dog! The kids are so excited, and I just can’t wait to be a dog mom again. This new addition to our family brings so much joy and anticipation. It’s incredible how the prospect of a furry friend has lifted my spirits and given me something wonderful to look forward to.

For anyone feeling a similar sense of boredom or sadness, sometimes a change like this, something that brings more life and joy into your home, can make all the difference. Whether it’s a dog, a cat, or even chickens, adding a new member to the family can be incredibly fulfilling.

Stay tuned for updates on our new furry friend and the adventures we’re sure to have together. Here’s to new beginnings and embracing the joyful chaos of life with kids and pets! Along those lines, our new litte fur-child is coming with the name Nova which means new and bright/light. How perfect is this name for what we are feeling?! We will definitely be sticking with this name.

Embracing Contradictions: The Complex Desires of A Late 30-Something Woman

I frequently find myself grappling with opposing desires. At times, I wonder if this is a result of being a woman, being overly emotional, or perhaps just the nature of modern parenthood. I often yearn for things that are in direct conflict with each other.

For instance, I want another baby, maybe even two more. Yet, I dread the thought of being pregnant again and would love to skip past the first two years of sleepless nights and constant crying. The reality is, I desire the joy and fulfillment that another child could bring, but I am acutely aware of the financial cost and added stress it would entail.

Then there’s the idea of having backyard chickens. The thought of fresh eggs and a little slice of rural life in our backyard is appealing. However, I worry that our small yard wouldn’t accommodate them well, and the cost might outweigh the benefits. Plus, I dislike feeling tied down to our house, which is exactly what chickens would do.

While we’re on this topic, I also want a dog. The companionship and joy a dog could bring to our family is tempting, but I hesitate at the thought of added expenses, scratched floors, and rugs ruined by potty training accidents.

Some days, I dream of having all these things and embracing the extra responsibilities they bring. Other days, I crave a carefree lifestyle where I’m not tied down and can move about whenever and wherever I please. Yet, with two young kids and a husband who works in an office and rarely takes vacations, being tied down is my current reality.

So, why do I keep entertaining these ideas? Perhaps it’s because I recognize that while my life is already filled with responsibilities, adding something new could bring joy and fulfillment that outweigh the drawbacks. In a way, these conflicting desires highlight a deeper truth about parenting and life in general: it’s a constant balancing act between what we want and what we can realistically manage.

In conclusion, it’s okay to have opposing desires and to dream of a life that seems contradictory. Embracing these contradictions is part of the journey, and it’s through this process that we often find what truly matters to us. Whether or not I ever get the chickens, the dog, or another baby, I think it is probably just important to embrace where we are now in our lives and be open to opportunities as they may arise. I think I am done trying to have control all of time. I just want to be open to whatever presents itself in this beautiful crazy life.

Finding Balance or Throwing it Out Entirely

Life is a constant juggle between competing ideologies, especially for those of us who are deeply passionate about various subjects. I often find myself torn between conflicting schools of thought, each championing their own way of living as the ultimate path to fulfillment. For example, as someone who dives deep into the nuances of nutrition, I’ve explored everything from Dr. Joel Fuhrman’s whole foods, plant-based Nutritarian diet to high-protein and meat-centric regimens promoted by fitness enthusiasts. My current approach is a blend of whole foods, high plant-based intake, moderate protein, and regenerative meat, yet it still feels like I’m not hitting the mark perfectly. But today, my mind is occupied with a broader and more pressing issue: the quest for balance versus the pursuit of singular passion.

Many advocate for spending more time with family, suggesting that this is the key to true happiness. They warn against dedicating one’s life solely to the pursuit of wealth, only to realize too late that it was a fruitless endeavor. Conversely, figures like David Goggins and Cameron Hanes promote an all-in mentality, urging us to pour every ounce of our energy into perfecting a craft, arguing that this pursuit is the only path to a meaningful life. Both perspectives resonate with me, yet they seem irreconcilable. On one hand, there’s the call to find joy in life’s simple moments with loved ones. On the other, there’s the drive to achieve greatness through relentless dedication to a single pursuit.

The common thread in both ideologies is the search for external meaning. Whether it’s through family or personal achievement, the aim is to find something that gives our lives purpose. At times, I entertain the idea of blending the two approaches. I could dedicate myself to something I find deeply meaningful, but who would take care of my children in the meantime? Perhaps my children themselves are my life’s work. The thought of homeschooling appeals to me—teaching them hard work, grit, and resilience. Yet, I’m not entirely convinced this would fulfill me completely.

I work as a financial planner, a job I love, but the more I immerse myself in it, the more I feel I’m taking time away from my children. Similarly, my interests in nutrition, fitness, and cooking are driven by a desire to stay healthy for my active lifestyle and my family, not as standalone passions. So, where do I go from here? What should I do? For now, I take it one day at a time. I believe the key lies in being fully present in each moment. When I work, I’m wholly focused on my tasks. When I’m with my kids, they have my undivided attention.

I’ve simplified my nutrition by sticking to the same meals until dinner. My workouts follow a consistent weekly routine and I have been adding to it now that my kids are out of school for the summer. I’m also exploring mobility exercises, starting with “Body by Breath” by Jill Miller. Despite this, my to-do list remains long. Is this balance, or a lack of focus and meaning?

Many of my friends work long hours in jobs they dislike, justifying the sacrifice with the financial rewards. I know this isn’t the answer. They will likely regret missing their children’s childhoods. I work part-time from home, a privilege I cherish, but it comes with its own set of doubts. Is the pursuit of meaningful work the missing piece for those working long hours? Can kids be the sole source of meaning in life?

When my first child was a baby, I worked full-time, and he went to daycare. I didn’t mind being away because I am not cut out for dealing with constant crying 24-7. Losing that same job after my second child was born was a horrible feeling of loss, despite my distane for the mundane work. I’m in a better place with more time for my kids and a job I find meaningful, but the paycut sucks and has affected my confidence in myself. There still a nagging feeling that something is missing. What is that thing? I don’t have that answer, but here is what I know for sure:

Having my kids home feels right 100% of the time. Since ending daycare and starting part-time preschool, the time I have with my kids has been incredible. It’s challenging, but never not worth it.
My work aligns with my passions. I love helping people with their finances. However, I struggle to make time for studying for my certification because I don’t feel that it is a priority and I need to reassess my purpose there.
Financial constraints are a challenge. I don’t feel deprived, but I know I’m underpaid for my worth and the value I add to my current company. This will need to be addressed aftermy kids need me less. Homeschooling is still a consideration too so I don’t have a timeline with this.
Health and fitness are important to me. My workouts and nutrition are good, and I’m in decent physical shape, but not at my peak. This is an area I want to improve upon.

Finding real purpose in life is a complex and ongoing journey. I don’t have any of it figured out and I don’t pretend to. I think much of my issues stem from my perfectionist tendencies, but I think I am closer to true meaning than I have ever been before.

Embracing Summer Break: Ideas for Staying Sane with Young Kids at Home

We’re three days into my boys’ summer break from preschool, and so far, it’s been delightful. Ask me again in 14 weeks, and I might be pulling my hair out, but for now, the slow mornings and long walks are a welcome change. Here are some strategies I’m using to help us maintain our sanity throughout the summer:

Maintaining Our Morning Routine
We follow the same morning routine as during the school year. I let the boys sleep in if they’re tired, and our bedtime has shifted slightly later. However, once they wake up, we go through the same motions at a more relaxed pace. They get up, get dressed, comb their hair, brush their teeth, and then we head downstairs for breakfast. Afterward, instead of rushing to school, they enjoy a little TV time while I tackle the most demanding part of my workday.

Extended Morning Walks
I usually take a 10-minute walk every morning before work, but with no need to spend 30 minutes in the car, we now extend our walk time. We head out after I complete some hard work tasks and it is a great change of pace. These walks are a great opportunity for us to chat and enjoy the morning sun together.

Daily Outings
Every day, we make sure to get out of the house, even if it’s just a quick trip to the store. It’s important for all of us to see different faces and get a change of scenery.

Scheduled Playdates
I’ve set up playdates with other kids from school. This not only helps the boys stay connected with their friends but also gives them a chance to burn off some energy.

Lots of Outside Time
Our backyard is fenced, so I’m comfortable letting my almost 3 and almost 5-year-old play outside on their own. This gives me a chance to do some light work in the afternoon while they enjoy the playset, sandbox, garden, and even the recent puddles from the rain. They often continue playing while I make dinner. I wonder if they’ll eventually tire of the backyard, but for now, they are content for long periods.

I cherish this time together and hope that we continue to enjoy the next 13.5 weeks as much as we’ve enjoyed the first three days. This summer, I’m embracing the slower pace and finding joy in the simple moments. Whether it’s sticking to our morning routine, extending our walks, or making sure we get out of the house, these small strategies are helping us make the most of our summer break.

Balancing Career and Family: My Journey Through Uncertainty and Gratitude

Twelve days after my second son was born, I received a call from my boss’s boss. Not recognizing the number, I didn’t answer. When I called my boss to see why his boss called me, I heard the devastating news: the company I’d worked for over 12 years had laid off my entire team. We thought we were safe. Just two weeks before I delivered my son, we’d been in a meeting with everyone who was supposed to be part of the “go-forward team.” Despite the blow, I was fortunate to have seven months of severance, which allowed me to keep my son home for the full 16 weeks of my maternity leave. Afterward, he went to daycare, and I began job hunting.

For years, I’d envisioned leaving my corporate job only if I had enough money to retire or if my husband received a substantial raise. In my ideal scenario, I would work part-time at a small company, something in personal finance, giving me more time with my kids. When I reached out to a friend who worked as a financial advisor, he told me he was moving to a smaller financial firm and they were looking for a back-end financial planner. The firm was religiously affiliated and had two women employees who kept their kids at home full-time. It seemed like a perfect fit.

While it felt like a dream come true, my heart still ached. Losing my corporate job was a hard pill to swallow. I now earn about half of my previous salary, with no benefits, and work under an advisor whose arrogance is hard to bear. Life isn’t perfect anywhere, but the contrast between how great and not great everything is can be confusing.

I often wonder if leaving this job after completing my certification credentials to work full-time elsewhere for a higher salary would be the right move. However, that would likely mean less influence over client plans and reduced time with my 2- and 4-year-old sons. My husband makes good money, but he is underpaid for his qualifications and workload. If he earned 50% more, I believe I’d feel less conflicted. My dream is to work part-time but not out of necessity.

Ironically, we have enough money for me to stop working if we maintain our current expenses, but I’m not spending the way I’d like to. We prioritize high-quality food and supplements, but I’ve cut back on other areas that used to bring me joy, like getting my hair colored, nails done, and buying new clothes. Now, I shop for clothes at Costco and skip beauty treatments altogether. It feels trivial to complain about these things, but seeing friends with higher incomes living more luxuriously adds to my sense of loss. However, they too have conflicted souls. They send their kids to full-time daycare and often feel stressed by their limited time together because they need to focus on getting things done rather than spending time playing with their kids. I cherish every moment with my kids, knowing this time is fleeting, yet I’m aware of my worth and the skills I could leverage for a higher income.

Despite the unresolved feelings, one thing remains clear: I love my time with my children. I’m grateful for a job that allows me to pursue many of my passions. Every morning, as I walk in the rising sun while most people I know are stuck in Zoom meetings behind office desks, I know I’m where my heart belongs—at home, in the sunshine, with my babies.

Embracing My Inner Weirdo: The Power of Being True to Yourself and Your Family

From a young age, I’ve always gravitated towards what many might consider the unconventional or the unpopular. Growing up, this made me a bit of an outlier among my peers. I wasn’t the child who blended in easily, and I think that reality sculpted a very particular kind of resilience in me. It taught me the invaluable lesson that it’s perfectly fine not to follow the crowd. This realization has empowered me immensely as an adult, particularly in my journey as a mother.

Certainly, there were moments during my adolescence when I longed to fit in. I recall attempting to engage with the reality TV shows my peers were obsessed with, only to end up bewildered and uninterested. Even then, I was beginning to understand that fitting in just for the sake of being liked was less appealing than being true to my own tastes and interests.

As a parent, this acceptance of non-conformity has deeply influenced the choices I make for my children. I have made a few decisions for my boys that terrify me that they will be upset that they don’t fit-in later on. But, I knew when I made those decisions and I know now that I have made the best decisions for them that I could in those moments and we can adapt to their beliefs and choices as they grow. I just hope they don’t hate my one day for making a wrong choice for them.

Our family’s lifestyle also reflects our value of authenticity over social conformity. I work part-time to ensure I’m present during these formative years, and our boys attend a Montessori preschool, which we feel nurtures their individual strengths. We’re considering dual enrollment for elementary school to further tailor their educational journey. These are all things that cause quite a bit of strange comments from people who enjoys being “normal.” The only other parents who seem to understand me are those who also send their kids to same Montessori preschool.

We’ve opted out of typical vacationw and unnecessary purchases. Not because we disdain others who enjoy these things, but because it doesn’t fit with our family’s values and goals. We don’t use social media to share moments or milestones because the things we do, the travel we choose and the things we buy are purely because they are good for our family not because we care what others think about them. We share special moments on a private app for people close to use who care to see our day-to-day lives.

Looking back, I sometimes cringe at the discomforts of being the “weird kid,” but today, I’m thankful for her. She allowed me to grow into someone who values individual thought and who is comfortable making decisions that might not align with the mainstream. This sense of self, grounded in the acceptance of my quirks and the support of those who love me, underscores my contentment and confidence as a parent and individual.

In a world that often prizes conformity, choosing your own path can seem daunting. Yet, it is in this space where we find our true selves and the deepest, most meaningful way to connect with our families. After all, isn’t life about finding happiness in our unique journeys and sharing that joy with the ones we love, weird quirks and all?