In today’s digital age, social media is a ubiquitous part of life, offering both connections and challenges. As a parent, navigating this landscape can be particularly complex. When it comes to sharing the lives of our children online, opinions vary widely. Before our first son was born, I explored many viewpoints on this issue but found that none resonated with me deeply. However, I was certain about one thing: I didn’t want to expose their identities on the internet. Now, with two children and nearly five years of parenting under my belt, I have solidified my stance. Here, I share the two core reasons behind my decision not to post pictures or names of my children on social media.
1. Respecting Their Future Autonomy:
The initial reason for my decision stems from a value deeply rooted in my own life: privacy. Just as I cherish my own privacy and share minimal personal information on social platforms, I anticipate that my children might appreciate the same discretion as they grow older. Social media, with its permanent memory, poses a unique challenge. By sharing their images and names, I would be crafting an online persona that they might not wish for themselves. I want to provide my children the freedom to decide how they appear online when they are mature enough to make those choices—free from the burden of a digital footprint they did not consent to.
2. Avoiding the Validation Trap:
Over time, I’ve realized a more profound reason for my privacy stance—my own journey with insecurity. This personal challenge has offered me insights into the underlying motivations that drive social media interactions. Often, people seek validation through their posts, whether it’s praise for a new hairstyle, a pet’s antics, or life milestones. Their quest for external validation can extend to children, celebrating every achievement as if the worth of those moments is amplified by likes and comments.
I firmly believe in celebrating my children within our close circle of friends and family, where the interactions are genuine and not subject to the superficial scrutiny of the broader social media community. I don’t need public affirmation to feel confident in my parenting or to validate my children’s accomplishments. Social media should not influence our family’s values or decisions, nor should it set a benchmark for my children’s achievements relative to others. Every child develops at their own pace, excelling in some areas and facing challenges in others. Acknowledging this diversity is crucial, and I choose not to subject my children’s growth to the competitive and often judgmental eyes of the online world.
Choosing not to share my children’s images or names online is a decision that protects their autonomy and shields our family from the pressures and pitfalls of social media validation. It is a commitment to respect their individuality and developmental journey, free from external influences. As we navigate the complexities of parenting in the digital era, we find strength in privacy and the close, personal connections that shape who we are, far beyond what any social media presence could offer.
This approach might not be for everyone, but for our family, it’s the path we’ve chosen, guided by a desire to foster an environment where our children can freely shape their identities when they’re ready—and not a moment before. I respect others who share their kids online and realize that this is right for them and their family. It is ok to make different choices as parents, one doesn’t have to be right while the other is wrong. Every family is different, just as every person is different.
Suburban Sprout 